It's All True

Too long since I've been at the gym, and I'm reaching Wellesian proportions, so it was back to the YMCA this morning. Everything was pretty much the same EXCEPT there was something odd about the big room where they hold classes, yoga, etc., and you can go to stretch when it's not being used. One wall is entirely covered with a mirror, and as I was doing jumping jacks and wondering if it was maybe a FUNHOUSE mirror-- I'm not THAT wide, yet, am I?-- I noticed what was odd. Behind me there was a huge rack holding those big exercise balls, kind of like the one that comes out of the water in THE PRISONER. Usually those things are various colors, but for some reason, now they were ALL YELLOW! And they looked to me like nothing if not GIANT LEMON DROP CANDY!

The weird thing about this, looking in the mirror as I jumped up and down in front of these giant lemon drops, I suddenly had the feeling that I had been SHRUNK... like The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957)-- or smaller! Then I thought about how the YMCA has the PUNS working overtime ("We're Here For Good," "You Already Belong Here," "It's Personal") so maybe this was their new campaign to make people feel like they were "reducing,"