Friday, March 16, 2007

Body of Christ

Okay, this is some crazy shit, so prepare yourself. I was at the Bally Total Fitness yesterday, and I went into the shower (group shower room with eight shower heads) and there was this total hippie guy, long hair and a beard (he looked a lot like ME, but short), standing under the running water, while EATING a sandwich and a partial loaf of bread! Now you KNOW I'm not making this up-- because it's too weird! I mean, it would be one thing if he was just eating a sandwich in the shower, but he was also holding, in the same hand, this big hunk of what looked like some kind of multi-grain, fresh, hippie bread. It was like he was eating a sandwich with a BREAD CHASER!

Now at first this made me mad, just because it's kind of disgusting, and also, since I can't eat wheat, I am just not very tolerant of it even under normal conditions. But then I thought about it for awhile, and I said to myself, this guy is a total fucking artist! He's the ULTIMATE hippie! I mean eating the classic hippie food, bread, in the shower. I had to admire him. I try and I try to be the biggest hippie I can be, but this guy just KICKED MY ASS.

You know, I should have talked to him, tried to get to know him, but no. I mean, that kind of scared me, if you want to know the truth. Because what he was doing made no sense whatsoever. And as much as I might admire that, it also scares me, and okay... so I'm a pussy!

Friday, March 02, 2007


On my return to the gym, back in the stretching room, I noticed that the ball that came rolling for me the other day had the letters "SPRI" on it. I am assuming that this is the name of the manufacturer of the ball, but what does it mean?

It made me a little sad, actually, because it made me think about "Spree" and how he's at the other gym, and I won't see him anymore.

Anyway, I have spent the rest of the day trying to think of what those letters stand for! The first thing I came up with is "Springfield, Rhode Island." Becaue doesn't every state have a Springfield? Not Rhode Island, apparently. Oh well, I'll keep trying.