EIGHTH WONDER OF THE WORLD!!!

I was riding my bike today on the bike trail, and I saw something for the first time: a woman rollerblading while talking on a cellphone. (I'm sure this is nothing new to those of you in California, but it was the first time I'VE witnessed such a spectacle!)

I'm Through with the YMCA

For all of you (like anyone is reading this!) who are sick of me talking about the YMCA, you won't have to any more because I quit. They raised my monthly fee, and worse, the hot tub is broken, and they don't seem to want to fix it. Not too many people go in the hot tub anyway, certainly no women, because they built it with a big picture window facing the track and the key desk, so when you're in it you kind of feel like an animal at the zoo. People just stare in at you, they can't help it.

But no more hot tub, no more YMCA, after September, and it's already September! I went last night, and this morning, as I made the rounds of the farmer's markets, I realized that I still had my sweaty jockey shorts and socks in my bag, along with my notebook and hat. This kind of disgusted me. I'm tired of being a jock-- what is it worth, anyway, all of this physical fitness stuff?

So anyway, enough of that. No more will I have to WONDER how men in the locker room are unable to throw their used Q-TIPS in the wastebasket. I'm just going to have to find things to complain about somewhere else.

I LOVE AUGUST

The REASON August is my favorite month is because FALL is just around the corner. I am really a CANADIAN at heart. No, I'm not. Anyway, Canadians don't really like the cold weather, or else why would they build all of their cities in the southern part of the country? Anyway, I love autumn, it's my favorite season, back to school, all that.

I tried to take this online test to see if I would be accepted as a citizen of Canada, and I FAILED MISERABLY! It was really pretty sad. My score was "Please stay in the United States where they celebrate idiocy." Which was the next category up from, "You are so worthless you wouldn't be welcome in ANY country." They really tell it like it is on this test!

I left my serape out in the mudroom with the leaking roof and it got moldy. Does anyone know anything about mold removal? I washed it, but it didn't seem to help, it still smelled bad, so I SOAKED IT with patchouli. Now it just smells like mold and patchouli. Help! It's my favorite serape, I don't want to throw it away!